Attack of the Fan-Girls

(Formally titled: “A (Mildly) Rude Adventure.”

With apologies to Mssrs. Tennant and Davies, and to fan-girls everywhere.)

The Doctor ran down the streets of Cardiff, towards his Tardis, chased by a big slimy monster and one hundred screaming fan-girls. Fishing out his Tardis key, the Doctor fumbled to get the Tardis door open, but it wouldn’t budge!

Meanwhile, inside the Tardis, the Doctor’s latest companion was totally engrossed in listening to the latest Kylie Cd, while busily dusting the console. She didn’t notice that she’d accidentally triggered the dead-lock switch.

Outside, the Doctor fingered his sonic screwdriver, and put it on it’s monster repellant setting, chasing the nasty beastie away. Yet, the hoarde of screaming fan girls kept coming.

The only way for the Doctor to save himself, was to do a strip-tease in front of the Tardis. Loudly singing “The Stripper” theme, the Doctor did a bump and grind routine, gyrating his thin, ribby body. Slowly he removed each article of his clothing.

The Doctor threw each piece of his attire at the screaming fan-girls to appease them. When he finally got down to his red ladies’ Doctor Who underpants, officially licensed by the BBC–the one’s with David Tennant’s face on the crotch–the bug-eyed fan girls were frozen to the spot. “Do you really think it’s ten inches?” One of them whispered.

Then, with a final bump and a florish, the Doctor’s pants came off. One by one, some of the fan-girls fainted. The rest of them lay on the floor, convulsing with gales of laughter. The Doctor made good use of this diversion; Grabbing a discarded newspaper, he held it in front of his meat and two veg, making a quick getaway down the Torchwood lift. When he got to the bottom, Captain Jack was terribly excited to see the Doctor, and gave him a very special salute.

The End.

PS:

This is the rubbish one sometimes thinks of, at 2 o’clock in the morning. Kids, don’t try this at home.